Plot Review:

Started great. I liked the setup for the stakes and then explaining why later. The explanation was good, but seemed the story sort of dragged in that section. It would help to add more drama to their conversation, especially since the sheriff seems to cal

Character Development:

Jess comes across well. The other characters need a bit more differentiation. They don't need a huge backstory or anything, but a few additions to round them out would be good. Perhaps adding some new traits during the conversation?

Setting:

Add just a bit to the description of the caprock. I understood it's steep and then level at the top, but I had to infer that it was hot and dry. Maybe some parched lips and sweating horses?

Grammar, punctuation, etc.:

Sentence structure is fine..

Dialogue:

They all talked in a similar manner. Could use a bit more differentiation.

Other comments: